We were on our way to China. My first time; Derek’s second (one too many, according to him). Of all the places we would visit, this was the one he was least looking forward to. He visited China about eight years ago and loved it, but really struggled with the people and the food.
While he tried not to influence me, he could not keep quiet about his experience, so naturally I had some reservations. At the same time, he was equally excited for me to see the Great Wall, Terracotta Warriors and all the other amazing places this vast country has to offer. But oh boy, nothing could prepare me for China…
My introduction to the Chinese came soon after we stepped off the plane. I was waiting in an orderly queue at the information desk to ask about the bus schedule and prices. One after the other the locals simply pushed in (almost walking over each other without so much as a flinch) and began talking over the person at the front of the queue. The next person would then start talking over the one who pushed in. It was absolutely unbelievable and I felt completely clueless dealing with this culture.
How funny to then, minutes later, receive the following text from my Chinese friend: “Remember there are no queues or orders the moment you step off the plane. You have been warned… Welcome to Beijing!”
Oh yeah, gee, thanks.
My second big introduction to the country came that afternoon. Our hotel was near Tiananmen Square but it might as well have been next to the toughest Colombian prison. The security presence was simply overwhelming. Bags got checked on almost every corner, cameras followed you everywhere and police officers watched your every move. It was quiet off-putting.
The frustrating thing is that we were just looking for a place to have dinner, but with the extensive security checks in place, as well as the fact that most sites like Google and Google Maps are blocked in China, this simple objective took over an hour. Because we didn’t feel like Chinese food, our choices ended up being Starbucks or KFC. We opted for KFC and immediately regretted it. What we got served was not chicken. And if it was, it wasn’t the chicken we are used to. Both of us ended up eating just the bun and fries for dinner. Yeah, welcome to China.
While planning our trip we decided to book a guided tour around Beijing. Even though the main sights are pretty obvious, straightforward things, like buying a train ticket, would take us double the amount of time it would take a local and time wasn’t something we had much of in China. So we were both happy to meet Lisa, our guide, on our first full day in Beijing.
Lisa, it turns out, was an absolute delight. Both knowledgeable and candid in equal measure; you could ask her anything. Over the course of the next two days we peppered her with questions about her views of Chairman Mao or Taiwan or Chinese education, culture and rudeness.
The drive to the Great Wall was long, primarily because it took over an hour just to get out of Beijing traffic. Derek has visited the Wall before, but couldn’t remember much and fortunately we were exploring a section of the wall he didn’t visit last time. I, on the other hand, was staring at everything like a kid in a candy store. It was the Great Wall of China and I was standing on it!!!!
Seeing the Great Wall was a huge tick off my bucket list. It is such an incredible place, but at the same time it was so busy and crowded that you could not sit and take a moment to appreciate the beauty and enormity of it all. There were simply too many voices to distract you and too many selfie sticks to annoy you.
We descended from the mountain on toboggans. While Derek and I love tobogganing, it just felt wrong to leave the Great Wall going screaming and screeching down a slide, but this was China and nothing was normal.
Because our morning visit took a big chunk of time out of our day, we only had one other stop today – the Summer Palace. We really liked the Summer Palace and loved hearing the stories about its resident Emperors and Queens and political corruption. It was like listening to a story out of an episode of Game of Thrones. Indeed, George Martin probably borrowed storylines from some of the real events that occurred within the walls of the Summer Palace. The setting on the lakeside is beautiful and the view from the top is stunning.
We got back to the hotel a little past 6pm after a long day and made the mistake of taking our time before leaving for dinner. Most of the restaurants around Tiananmen Square close around 8pm, so we soon realised we were heading for another evening walking around aimlessly, trying to find somewhere to eat. At least the square provided a pretty background. With fewer people around and with the Forbidden City all lit up, it did look quite spectacular.
I persuaded Derek to walk through Wangfujing night food market. He has done that before and warned me against it, but I was adamant to try and find something edible. How bad could it be?! Well… we were greeted by a live scorpion on a stick. Below the scorpions were butterfly pupae and cockroaches. We walked on, deciding not to try the deep-fried centipedes, hoping for something more “palatable”. However, I was absolutely shocked and disgusted by what I saw next – deep-fried starfish. And seahorses. Let me just say this again: deep-fried starfish and seahorses. On a stick.
Our hearts sank. We despair for all the animals from rhino (horn) to shark (fin) to seahorse if someone does not put a stop to what people churn out for a snack. We could not get out of that market quickly enough.
Some of the snacks in the food market.
The complex itself has had its troubles with lightning and fire and the Japanese invaders, but it has been restored over the years. Derek made a good point when saying a lot of Beijing reminds him of the old joke about the broom. “I have had this broom for 25 years; it has had five new handles and five new heads but I still have the same broom after all these years.” They have restored and repainted their monuments so many times, we wondered what was original and what wasn’t.
The park surrounding the Temple of Heaven is used for something quite interesting and unique – it serves as a match-making service. Dozens of parents sit in the park with details and particulars of their children to try and match potential partners for an arranged marriage. Others peruse and “window shop”. Adverts detail a prospect’s age, height, weight, education, annual salary and most important, if he/she owns her own flat or not. It is all taken very seriously.
Online dating, the traditional way…
Our final stop was Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City. The square is enormous and overlooking it on the walls of the Forbidden City is the famous portrait of Chairman Mao. It makes for an imposing view.
We really liked the Forbidden City. It is extensive and took us a view hours to get through, but it must have been amazing to have been here 100 years ago or more during the time of the Emperor.
Our tour ended with a Chinese acrobatic show. They had the usual gymnasts balancing on chairs and juggling hats, but what really impressed us were four women that were extremely bendy. They would balance on each other in ways that were hard to fathom how they got into that position. The other cool thing was a wall of death with motorcycles – at the end eight motorcycles were circling in one cage! It was quite impressive.
Derek made the point that the acrobatic show was somehow a metaphor for the whole of China. At first glance it wows and is spectacular. The people are talented and amazing. You begin to like it. But then as you look closer the façade fades. The people don’t look like they enjoy what they are doing. The set design looks fragile and cheap. The sound and music are amateurish and poor and uncoordinated. What you are looking at is just a cheap imitation of the real thing.
We finished our time in Beijing with cocktails on a rooftop bar, overlooking Tianenmen Square. While I loved seeing the amazing sights in and around this city, so far China has not been my favourite place. The people are rude, everyone spits (everywhere), you have zero personal space, the food is a stretch too far, toilets are disgusting. Let’s just say I was incredibly pleased to be heading to Xian in the morning, partly because I was leaving Beijing behind, but mainly because I would be meeting up with an old friend.
Goodbye Beijing.
